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After The Lights

by The Saddest Landscape

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1.
I’ve lead with the wrong foot again Crossing lines no one asked you to defend You stare me down Chanting conform or leave Conform or leave We’ve got our old pride and we’ve got our honest sleep We’ve got nights where the room came alive And reaffirmed our faith that this can change lives We are the pulse that beats And we are the breath that flows And we will scream along until our heart stops I no longer believe that we are all in this together So you can keep your basements If it means we have to be better than our friends When did we start settling When did we say good enough If only we listened to all the words we sang Then I wouldn’t have to remind you Filled with fucking clichés That I would rather play from the heart
2.
I am no longer fine The discomfort has spread to my blood My lungs are working overtime and I feel dead and buried I am walking around a ghost haunting my former self So while we do our best not to stare Would you tell me what we are celebrating We idolize death until we are faced with it And we struggle to realize that if we just let our guard down We would realize that life is worth living I want an army to fight for me I want to admit that it is ok to be strong All of my enemies will feel my rage All of my enemies will see what’s in store I will level cities I will torch this whole damn room I am taking this all to heart And after all of this, if I’m still not satisfied If I still feel I could do more I am taking this whole thing down because after all the songs And after all the years deep down I know that this heals nothing This heals nothing
3.
Cherry blossoms line the streets Calling on all those that love us I’ll show you what it means to feel haunted What it means to never be truly alone So don’t crack that smile Don’t blink those eyes because I lose it every time (I have waited my whole life for this) This is it: A call to open arms filled with hidden smiles and promises kept We have never seen anything like this The beauty is truly breathtaking And I will bear witness that what we do is sacred I’m tired of watching the good ones give up I am tired of talking about the one that got away Let us never say goodbye
4.
These are my last confessions sealed with longing and regret We hold our breath things have to work out sometime We were the hopeless romantics who truly believed in happy endings We medicated our desperation hearts like ours could take on anything Can you hear me? I should have done better by you I should have been there more Just know that it was you I was thinking of when it all came crashing in Remember me as someone who was there for you Remember me for all of the good that was between us And you are still the girl Who loves the sound of clinking pates Stealing flowers from our neighbor’s yard Warm sand Tree lined picnics I should have don’t more I should have learned your favorite songs Sang you to sleep And woke you with the promise that each day would be better than the last
5.
I watch from a distance You move unlike anything I have ever seen I’d like to fall asleep calmly next to you Safe in your care to guide me home But most nights I am filled with superstition and fear Kiss your hair and knock on wood It never feels like enough No matter how far we go It never feels like enough I know you are not right but you are perfect for me Everything is fine Everything is falling apart I cut myself at thoughts of losing you Shake myself awake at dreams of dying alone I worry about the slightest discomfort I worry about anything that could take me from you But we are the dreamers The ones who despite the odds shot for the stars And I will hold on to everything we have built Because you are the reason that I know I will make it through the night
6.
You said you were tired of this life With days of punched in and nights not over until dawn You are ready to burn all bridges and start again This is our call Our call to do better And we are sick Sick of being less than Tell me all of your fears I’ll show you that you are not alone One arm around you and one hand on the wheel We are going to work with what we got There are no goodbyes if we go together Let’s be daring we have to believe in something So why not this? Why not us? The future is ours
7.
When you come home from the hospital Let me be the first to welcome you Arms outstretched holding my sincerest apologies I will be ready to tell you all of the things I was too scared to say before How your smile wears me out How I am better off having known you I will never take you for granted Come back, come back to us Please get better I want you to smother me Close enough to feel your weight crashing into me Feel the air getting warmer Come back to us I want to return to when our smiles would fill the whole room Come back to nights of you and i Walking these streets long after the lights go out

credits

released February 14, 2012

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