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1. |
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A letter from my nephew makes me cry
The sun just makes me sad we have to die
Fell
through the light again
In line with fear
Called phonies, Cowards
Friends I could hold most dear
Survival concepts travel from the front back to the rear
History repeats it’s self
There ain’t that many years
That I can hold a tune
So I’ll beg for melodies
Hope someday these Oni’s may forgive me
No camera could document the shit he put me through
No song could do it justice
No, There’s never been a tune
As dark as ten fiancée’s swimming naked in my room
As red as ripe volcano’s, twisted up like blown out tubes
Oh and
how everyone just needed me
To be calm cool collected
Just like you
Sacrifice my art and politics
Shut the fuck up
And make due
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2. |
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I played myself again
Went and bullied for the bigger end
Let definitions blur
Believed what I heard it my head
Well if intentions slip
Then you might as well dip
Theres not much different
There’s not much new
I know
The same lie keeps me
The same look
Makes me grow
So when’s this gonna end
When you gonna meet my eyes
Is there a way that I can redefine the clay
Come on
Find me
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3. |
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Barreling through
Fallowing you
Looking for change
Circle compute
Look at the cute
Number and name
You see the grid
The way it’s words work
Your lives a screenplay
You can’t afford not to rewrite
Counting down to collapse
Hoping everyone claps
Circle
improve
Looking for proof
Someone to save
Corporate scope
Media soap
Watching friends float away
You see the grid
The way that words work
Your life’s a three way
You can’t afford not to be right
You’re counting down to collapse
Hoping everyone claps
Every woe in corners all just looking sad
Hiding out or waiting for their better halves
What justifies our cults
What justifies our wars
What justifies not getting up
Not getting anymore
We maintain we were framed
Reading down the names
Feeling that stir
Recompense expect
How can we invest
When were really not sure
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4. |
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I guess desperate people never learn
Stuck in a circle season, never turns
Buried in my living room
What’s in the head just isn’t getting through
Not sure what to do
Truth is never really thought it through
Woke from a dream
I was only fourteen
Still can’t say that I know what things mean
Brick wall water
Dick talk talker
A quarter past never mind
Can’t even get mad
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5. |
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All I want is peace
But the concept feels just out of reach
And it’s getting to me
Don’t see it
So don’t believe it
Didn’t mean it
They didn’t mean it
All I want is peace
But your conscience seems under your feet
And it’s getting to me
Don’t see it
So don’t believe it
Didn’t mean it
They didn’t mean it
You are wrecking all my fun
Cause ain’t it good to see the sun
Not to want to hurt no one
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6. |
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So tiny XVX microscopes are spiders underneath my skin
Cycles cycles everywhere so fuck it math’s where we’ll begin
Can’t stop shaking feel like Kate is leaving me again
That was just day one
Just day one St. Catherine’s
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7. |
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8. |
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You’re settling
You just need someone to ease you’re worrying
Spent most our nights
In my car talking in the dark
And I thought it was endearing to wait this long
And you said it was indulgent to keep you around
Know how it would end
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9. |
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10. |
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Sometimes I wonder how
You’re writing makes depression sound eloquent
Even endearing
I don’t dare bring up the past
Not while I’m around you
I don’t think you could handle it
I could be in love
But I would end up back where I am
If I’m honest with myself
I should be alone
I’m giving up on you
Sweetheart
I’m giving up on you
If I’m lonely enough
To want to say that I’ll settle down
I’m not honest with myself or anyone else
You always were the saddest girl I know
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11. |
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All this talk about the times you were near death
Makes my hands shake
Or how you wouldn’t be around to vouch for me
If I died soon
Rest your head there’s nothing more you can do
For God’s sake
Or the sake of anything you thought was real
Or half true
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12. |
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I’m too ashamed to talk to you again
I can’t be subtle
I can’t even try
I knew we parted ways too early
I could use you in my life today
I would lie to anyone but you
It’s an attempt to make me feel better
The worse it gets the more pop songs I write
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13. |
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You wrote me a letter
You never sent
I found it in your apartment
On accident
I can make do with it
If you must be vague
If you can’t say you’ll stay true
The driving to see me
The singing and grieving
They can’t save you from what’s to come
You were so damn terrified
Of something you might find
It kept you from my arms
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released February 3, 2015